Ruckus Rides!

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The second thing Bangalore is famous for, is the traffic. With a government in slumber, poor roads, poorer transportation, and hooligans on the road, there is nothing left to do, but curse and wait for autos (Ola and Uber are 2x + traffic charges + whatever charges + pathetic drivers, sometimes. Metro isn't operational everywhere). When you stop an auto, never feel ecstatic ; for you might end up with the most annoying, hilarious or scary conversations. For instance(s),

Me : *Destination name*
Auto Driver : Yes
Me : <Alright, today I am lucky>

Me : *Destination name*
Auto Driver : Nods the head..says No and speeds off

Me : *Destination name*
Auto Driver : Extra 20 Rs
Me : I say no and look away

Me : *Destination name*
Auto Driver : Nods the head and asks, how much are you ready to pay?
Me : <With slight irritation and confusion if I am at an auction> Whatever the meter reads
Auto Driver : Says No and speeds off

Me : *Destination name*
Auto Driver : 60 Rs
Me : No
Auto Driver : 50 Rs
Me : <Am I buying vegetables??> No, with the piss-me-not expression

Me : *Destination name*
Auto Driver : Yes, madam
Me : <Alright, lucky again!>
Drives like crazy - honking and trying to speed through all the available space on the road. Almost gets hit by a car!
Me : I hold my breath and whatever I could in the auto. Screech and close my eyes.
Auto Driver : <with a lot of concern for my expressions> Madam, either sit in the left side or right side. You can hold something..I drive very rashly in traffic
Me : <silent swearing. What a great advice!> I move to the right and hold whatever-it-is-called really tight and start chanting some mantra, waiting to get down.

Me : *Destination name*
Auto Driver : Yes
Auto Driver : The traffic is too bad. It is getting worse everyday
Me : Yeah!
Auto Driver : I have been driving the auto for 30 years. It is becoming increasing difficult these days. Too much rage and traffic
Me : <That is a lot of experience. I am in a safe auto!> That's nice. You must have seen the whole of Bangalore.
Auto Driver : Yes.. initially when I learnt, there were no tar roads in some areas. I even met with a couple of accidents. Once, I hit a woman riding a 2-wheeler. Nothing happened to her. The second time, I got hit by a bus and my leg was fractured. 
Me : <When am I going to get down?!>

Me : *Destination name*
Auto Driver : Yes
Auto Driver : I have Rs. 1000. If you have two 500 Rs, give it to me
Me : I don't have
Auto Driver : Repeats the same thing 
Me : I don't have 
Auto Driver : Okay madam, please get down
Me : <Still wondering what he was up to. But glad that I got off..> 

Me : *Destination name*
Auto Driver : Yes
After crossing 4 really big signals and waiting to cross the last signal
Me : I will get down here and walk
Auto Driver : You could have got down in the previous signal. I will have to go back all over again, in the traffic.
Me : <*silent swearing*. You don't get to tell me where to get down> Too pissed to talk.

 I still feel the safest mode of transportation is walking. But, then, there are mad hooligans on the road, on the pavement, everywhere! God save us.

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